i'm very numb. i have so much to do, but i don't care about anything right now

sorry i was away.

summer, where did you go?

i couldn't sleep because there is a cockroach lodged in my ceiling fan. now my fan is clicking.

favorites?

the whole breakup isn't as easy as it seemed.

he doesn't quite understand what being friends means. he still calls me and texts me constantly. and tells me he loves me almost every time we talk. this is getting difficult.

to make things worse, his friends have all been bombarding me with questions. "why would you do this to him....why don't you love him....he doesn't deserve this" fuck them. i wish everyone would fuck off and stop making me feel so damn selfish. but maybe i deserve to be selfish, can't i do things for myself for once?!

hope you all are having a better time than me.

i just did it. we talked on the phone for a few hours. i was the one who did most of the crying, and surprisingly he was understanding. i was so sure he would hate me, but he said he understood. i don't really think he completely understands why i'm doing this, but he does understand that i love him. we decided to still be close friends. i'm not really sure how this is going to work out. being best friends with my ex boyfriend doesn't seem like the best idea, but he is still my best friend. i feel good. sad, but still good.